You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
