I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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