She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
