How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
