oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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