when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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