never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
