I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
