finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize