are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
