We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
