just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So squirting runs in the family.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
