I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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