So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
