i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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