Im at strip club and am horny
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize