omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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