Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
