You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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