@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize