Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
