Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
