I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
