I puked a lego.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
