Umm I'm too high to move.
Please, let me fuck your mom
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
