is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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