so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
