Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drake has all the answers
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
