i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
