the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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