I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
