i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
