it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
