Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize