I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
