Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
