OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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