I want to make a zoo with you.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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