it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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