ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
