watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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