Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
