I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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