i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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