Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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