Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
