Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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