make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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