Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
