shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So many bounce houses so little time
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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