It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
