So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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