i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
