when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
