she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
